this is where i, miss emily, ramble on about anything and everything in real life or out of it. i do post pretty often about real life stuff, but i also write a lot about books, movies and other fannish delights. a fair amount of my posts are filtered, though, so if you don't want to see the geeking, let me know and i'll keep you off the filters. i'm politically liberal (a commie homo-loving son of a gun, if you will) and otherwise extremely open minded, so if that's not for you, then seek elsewhere for entertainment, and no hard feelings. if you're looking for my graphics, they're over at sinistrata. feel free to friend, just drop me a comment in a recent entry so i know who you are when i friend you back!
<3

wow, what a fucking weekend.

( epic post is epic... )

and then this morning i got up after roughly 4 hours of sleep, drove nelle and squot back to nelle's place, and got myself from boston to cumberland in an hour to be on time to work, LIKE A FUCKING BOSS. i left my leftovers so i have no lunch (bk ftw/ftl, you decide) and i'm pretty much going to be dead by the time 5pm hits, but whatever. this weekend was so necessary.

....actually you could really sum up this entire post in six words. i fucking love my second family.
goddam!

<3

.....oh yeah. today/tonight are for f'ing TAGGING, since i did, uh, NONE OF THAT while i was away. and reqs gotta get made, son.

THIS IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW.



THAT IS ALL.


despite the fact i just found out that i don't work the week of june 29th b/c the plant is shutting down.... that's not so awesome, but i'll make it work. might be broke for the entirety of july, but nothing i haven't handled before. :3 :3 :3

it figures, i haven't posted in ages and the first thing i put up is a meme. but it's a good one!

Give me a character from any fandom, TV show, movie, book you know that I know I've written and I will tell you:

a. My favorite thing about that character.
b. My least favorite thing about that character.
c. One person I would ship them with in their own verse.
d. One crossover ship for them I think would be neat.
e. One crossover universe for them I think would be even neater.
f. Their ship from hell.
g. Their song.
h. The title of their biography or autobiography.
i. The last bad dream they had.
j. How they're gonna shuffle off the mortal coil, if they haven't already.

usual fandoms apply; check my icons/interests if you're unsure, or just give me choices. i'm going to be packing tonight for my Weekend of Awesome^(TM) so i'll need distractions-- also from the fact that my mother is currently sort of not speaking to me, or at least is very annoyed b/c apparently despite the fact that this trip has been planned since OH I DON'T KNOW, FEBRUARY, she missed the memo that i was going to be away from thursday night to monday night-- and now is doing that "you can afford to take time off work?" thing at me. yes mom, yes i can, because my job fucking loves me and i can handle it. ugh. i mean sure i don't have as much money as i'd like to for the weekend, but i have ENOUGH-- like, i might be broke at the end of it, but wtf-ever, i have scheduled all my bills for the next three weeks and i'm totally fine, so, whatever.

i'm currently reading the court of the air by stephen hunt and it is fucking OWNING me. gyah. oh steampunk, how do you manage to be so consistently awesome.

i got my hair cut short again for the first time in a year (holy crap, seriously, last time i had it cut short was june 27th last year) and i am SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT IT. it's funny that it was becky who convinced me i should cut it-- she said "i feel about your hair the way i feel about starbuck's-- when it's long, it looks great and really pretty and feminine, but then she cuts it off and you're just like BAM, YEAH." -- and that's a direct quote, lol. it makes me laugh a) because she clearly knows the easy way to flatter me, and b) the irony, given how obsessed she is with being "pretty" -- but i guess she also knows me well enough to know that that's not an adjective i've ever given a shit about having applied to me, so, there you go. XD i feel pretty fucking badass with the new 'do though (see icon, lmao).

sigh. okay. time to eat something, and then to pack. my list is *prodigious*. :"D

crossposted to dreamwidth.

this post is NOT solely for the purpose of using this icon. promise. >.>

it's actually just a random "whassup" post, and since i feel like half my brain has been drowning in star trek lately, the icon is actually pretty appropriate.

THINGS.

• the babiest kitty ever, aka pippin, had to go to the vet yesterday. he has this weird growth on his tail that started bleeding over the weekend (not good) also for the past several months every now and then he'll go a day w/o eating and then throw up everywhere and forget how to use the litter box. >.> distressing, but he never *acts* like he feels sick, so we've put off a vet visit, but he had to go b/c of the tail thing. long story short, it's a fatty tumor, benign, but if the meds they gave him don't shrink it they'll have to operate, which will involve amputating about half his tail. :/ :/ :/ meh. i hate pet worries. haven't had to deal w/this since my cat had fleas in fall of 07... hope the meds work.


• california, you fucking suck. can't really say more than that without this entire post becoming a rant about prop 8. i expected this to be the decision, but that doesn't lessen the disappointment any. thanks to halfdreams for the quotes she posted; they help, but like she said, though the destination of our long road is inevitable, it's hard to sit with now.


• this weekend was really nice. i slept and did fuck-all nothing for most of it; monday did an obscene amount of yard work and totally fucked up my body, as usual... i really am so excited i finally got off my ass and did my gym membership transfer, so now i can start working out again and not feel like i've been run over by a bus every time i physically exert myself.


• rice cakes with peanut butter make a good snack. om nom nom.


• as bsafemydeers said on twitter this morning-- how is it that i can sleep four hours and wake up perky as fuck, then the next night sleep seven hours and wake up feeling like death barely warmed over? what the shit, body, for serious. this is what i get for forgetting my "help you sleep" supplements before bed three nights running, i guess.....


• brain status : 30% trek, 30% tabula rasa, 30% worrying about jobs, 10% worrying about school. those last two things are firmly in the "do not talk about" category today; idk why but i can just tell panic is imminent. sooooo yeah-- brainless stuff FTW, probably just hanging around ontd_startrek and doing tr shit all day. and all night. yeah.

and that's your lot. leave a contribution in the little box.

ugh, i just got really anxious and depressed about this placement ending in 2 weeks. --well two and a half, but bleh, close enough. i've got to talk to the office boss today or tomorrow about this.... it's not like this is my dream job, but i really like it here, and they like me, and i can do the work-- i know what they want from me, you know? that was a big problem with honda, it was like, i know i'm doing a good job, but they had all these stupid rules and measures by which they determined if i was living up to their standards, and naturally the people who were actually good at the job weren't always the people who measured up to the standard. and god, after the bullshit that happened at northwestern, i'm so over jobs where the bosses won't be straightforward about what they need. >.>;;;;; and i'm just really tired of this, of always being the new kid in town, and the uncertainty is such a killer.

so keep your fingers crossed for me guys. i'm really hoping this will pull through.

on the plus side though, yesterday was an awesome day. like, i was really in a good mood all day long. i wrote, i made tonight's dinner ahead of time, i did some tr plotting -- minimal tagging, but that's what tonight's going to be for. so, hooray. hopefully i can shake this anxiety BS and get that mood back again, it was a really nice feeling. :}

just did an ickle friends cut, mostly if i couldn't remember the last time they'd commented on my entries or i had in theirs, and/or their journals had been inactive for ages. but as usual, if i defriended you and you wanna be refriended, just say the word. :)

i so cannot wait to get the fuck out of work. i hate that this job is just mindless enough for me to tweet and sometimes post random inane things, but definitely way too stressful for me to write or tag during work. bleh. but it's a job and i'm doing pretty well at it, if i do say so myself. gonna talk to the boss-man next week about possibility of permanent hiring.... despite horrible ignorant woman (who i haven't seen since last week, FTW) everyone else here is really nice, and like i said, i'm good at the job. i could do a hell of a lot worse.

but christ, has it been busy this week. and today i got my period AND had like, a double load of crap to take care of. the next half hour cannot pass fast enough. >.<;;;;;;;;;;;;


eta : i love my star trek mood theme!! :"} it's by wickedground and stormfronticons.... it is AWESOME. XD

okay in my glee apparently i and like 10 other people failed to notice that that story was a year old. what the fuck. i'm really sorry, should've read closer.....

damn, now my day sucks again. >.<;;;;;;;;;

just put up a post for drabble requests at betweenthebliss-- go over here to request things. and friend me while you're at it, if you like-- the journal's for fic and some ramblings about books. but mostly fic. cus i has ideas. >.>;;;;

it's chilly out, but i'm sitting on the porch w/the netbook and some blankets, writing. it's really good-- a good feeling. the past few weeks, really, are the first time in my whole life i've ever felt like anything approximating a real writer. which sounds conceited, i know, but whatever-- it's true. i've never actually felt like hey, it's not ludicrous for me to think i might actually finish something and try to get it published. ^^;;;

it's also taken me like the past three days to recover from the weekend. i spent probably a sum total of 4 hours of a three-day weekend with my father, and he managed to stress me out to the point i've had to have a glass of wine every night this week in order to fall asleep. -.-;;;;; so glad that stress is over-- and even more glad i don't have to do ANYTHING this weekend besides like, clean the house and maybe garden. \o/

okay-- time for dinner.

eta : also put up a handful of trek icons at sinistrata, for those who might be interested (olivia_circe, lookin' at you. ;))

so let me preface this by saying, i'm too young to have watched the original series of star trek when it was first airing. in fact, i'm young enough that i grew up in the heyday of the next generation-- for years it was the only TV we were ever allowed to watch during dinner, and one of the only shows i ever watched as a kid that aired later than 6pm. i've seen most TNG episodes several times, and while i haven't watched in a few years, i can still talk about the characters and some plot points with decent familiarity. i have seen a lot of TOS, but not enough to really be solid on the continuity of the story, or any of the characters. i know DS9 and voyager much better; far less well than TNG, but i was still (to my recollection, anyway) in middle school when they aired, so i remember watching new episodes as they came out.

the whole point of this is that while i absolutely 100% consider myself a trekkie, i am not at all able to say i *know* TOS well. i loved it, sure, and still do, whenever i happen to catch a rerun. but i'm not someone who is/was likely to be sitting in the theater this past weekend trembling with trepidation in case the movie didn't get canon /just right/. i wouldn't have known if they had or hadn't.

but what i do know is how trek-- all the shows, all the episodes-- makes me feel. why i like them-- no, love them so much, even with the camp and stereotypes and often issues with race and gender that make me cringe. because-- and this probably isn't a shock to anyone who knows me-- i'm weak like a weak, weak thing for strong characterization-- for characters who are real people, flawed and sometimes prejudiced and sometimes ignorant but real for all that. and so for me, trek has always been about the people i've come to love through the years. i feel about it the way i feel about LotR in some respects-- in a way that knows i could never possibly fathom the ways it's shaped my taste in books, movies, tv shows -- though i can tell you right now, i'd never have lost my shit over kara thrace if i hadn't also loved tasha yar to the depths of my ten-year-old soul.

okay, okay, coming to the point of this post. The Movie. i saw it on sunday and was completely fucking floored. there wasn't a moment of it that i didn't passionately adore. i'm not saying it was perfect-- far from it! but that's what made it star trek. for all the plot holes and miniskirts and cosmic coincidences, it was so utterly harmonious with every experience of the show i've ever had, that i couldn't not love it. it did exactly what JJ wanted it to do-- remind everyone that TOS is where it all began, and that it spawned such a huge franchise for a good fucking reason. IMO the movie didn't reboot TOS canon-- it gave it a paint job and put some high-grade oil in the engine, and set it loose on a flat stretch of highway. what's under the hood hasn't changed-- round, flawed, deep characters who are strong in personality and fierce in feeling, whose relationships with each other define them and make them better people.

i read somewhere the actors are in contract for a sequel. i cannot wait. there are few movies i can think of that i'll be more excited about in the coming years-- 'cause this is more than just fulfilling the pitter-patter of my geeky little heart. this is taking something that in a lot of ways helped define my childhood, and giving me a whole new score of reasons to love it as an adult. and i can't think of anything that makes me happier.

ps, i'm seeing it again tomorrow. XD

holy god. just came from the franz ferdinand show, and holy gooooooooooooooood. talk about blowing every other show i've ever seen out of the water-- and that includes tori amos and the indigo girls, both of which completely rocked my world. this show... there are just no words. they were *incredible*. the next time they tour i will be seeing them at least once (this was the last night of their US tour). robert is so fucking hot, and i mean that in the physically attractive way as well as the way where you're just like jesus christ, how can there be that much talent and awesome in one person's body? his energy alone was ridiculous, but coupled with his rock moves (playing the guitar *behind his back* ftw) and his smile and his VOICE, guh. and the rest of them are no slouch either, omg. i could watch them perform forever.

they played every song i wanted to hear, too. michael and you girls and jacqueline and darts of pleasure and (of course) matinee and do you want to and 40 feet-- the only one i would've liked to hear was eleanor, but i can imagine it's hard to fit that into a set list.

i couldn't stop smiling right now if i wanted to. :} best $25 i've ever, ever, ever spent.

[rinlage you should've been there... next time it's happening. <3333333333]

a long time ago i made an LJ purely for keeping track of my fiction. i have this habit when i'm bored of picking up the nearest available piece of paper and writing on it-- when i worked at faces or blockbuster or barnes & noble, those were pieces of receipt tape. in office jobs it'd be a piece of looseleaf or the back of a sheet from the recycling bin. and i can't tell you how many times i would come home and realize it wasn't in my pocket anymore, or worse, a few days later realize i'd put it through the wash. fucking infuriating.

anyway, the point is i've been writing parts of my book on that journal for a while now, and i'm surprised at how well it's working for me. it's a lot less daunting than a word document; when i'm ready to write, i just make a new post, and i don't have to worry about where it fits in with the rest of the story just yet, or the transitions, or any of that other stuff. i just write what is in my head to write, and edit it in comments later so i can see the evolution of what i wrote. it's really baffling me how easy it's making it for me to just get shit out on the "page"... like, i'd say my worst flaw in the technical aspects of writing is how much i hate to write badly.... which i know you have to, that's what editing is about, but if i get stuck on something it's really hard for me to put down a crappy description or some shitty dialogue just to get me through to the next part. but with this it's not as hard, both b/c i know i can just hit post and go to something else, and b/c i know i can edit it later-- and editing a three-page entry is a lot less daunting than editing a section of a 50 page manuscript.

idk, i guess this is just to say that i'm writing, like actually regularly writing something that comes from my own head, and that i like what it is that's coming out. it's been a long time since i could say that... any of it.

today is also six months since i moved out of the house on russell street. coincidence... fuck no.

♥ emily

i feel like i was just physically assaulted.

i'm a temp, and i'm working at a neat little textile company in northern rhode island, doing orders and customer service. most of the people i've met are really sweet, and while i'm fairly sure none of them are gay, i don't feel weird or awkward around them. i'm not about to come out, but i don't feel like i *have* to hide it (say, the way i did when i was working at a catholic college, yanno?). so where i'm sitting is this small office with just me and one other dude (ironically the only person in the office i think could possibly be gay) and it's not at all on the way to or from anything-- we don't get a lot of visitors, we just sit and chat and make phone calls and freak out about customers all day. it's brilliant.

so yesterday while i was the only one in here, this random woman came in and just, out of nowhere, started flapping her jaw about her daughter's first communion-- like talked my ear off for fifteen minutes when i gave absolutely NO indication that i was interested (because i was really busy, also b/c i think the idea of taking your seven-year-old to a hairdresser and a nail salon for her first communion is fucking ludicrous). now, people who can't take social cues make me nervous to begin with-- i have my own brand of social anxiety, and people who won't just leave me the fuck alone when i'm sending blatant DO NOT WANT vibes kind of scare me. i was hoping that would be a one-time encounter and that perhaps by the next time i saw her i'd be able to make a convenient getaway.

today she came into the office again and started chatting about her evening-- again, *totally out of the blue* as if we were picking up a conversation that had left off five minutes ago. and in the process of today's fifteen-minute monologue, this woman managed to casually insult gay people, black people, hispanic people, single parents, jewish people and muslims without even realizing she was doing it. like, "so-and-so her husband left her for a gay guy, tchahahaha," trying to share this conspiratorial chuckle with me, not at the expense of the poor woman whose husband is *GASP* a fag now, but at the sheer lunacy of gay men in general. and "so-and-so has kids from three different guys and isn't married to any of them! *pointed look of disapproval*" it just went on. by the time she left my heart was racing and i honestly felt like i was on the point of hyperventilating if she'd stuck around any longer.

the worst part was the assumption that i shared her views. she mentioned several times about how the foster child her sister is housing at the moment isn't baptized-- "that might be okay if you're, like, jewish, but YOU KNOW, dot dot dot"-- and seemed amazed when i didn't commisserate. i'm really glad i have more self-control than i did three or four years ago; twenty-one year old emily would've stood up and said "well you're talking to an agnostic pansexual who may be white but sure as hell isn't scared of getting swine flu from hispanic people, so maybe you should rant to someone else." and then she'd have gossiped, and i probly would've lost the placement.

it's been almost an hour, and i still feel jumpy, jittery, the way i do when i don't eat for hours. i'm finding it so hard not to hate her; i know she has absolutely no fucking clue what she just did to me, and that if i tried to explain it to her she would not understand. it's really not her fault, or at least i can understand why she's ignorant. she was raised a conservative catholic in rural rhode island, and she's lived here her whole life. she doesn't know how to be anything else. it's not her fault. but god damn, i am really having a hard time not judging the society that continues to churn out these ignorant-minded people with their heels stuck so hard in cement that they don't even want to realize there's another way to think of the world, let alone actually change their own views and biases. my best friend says she wants not to have to tell people she's gay the way straight people don't have to tell others they're straight; that there shouldn't be an assumption one way or another. i couldn't agree more. i just don't know what to do with myself when confronted with stuff like this-- i guess it's a byproduct of having lived for so many years in a place where you were the odd one out if you /were/ straight.... but i don't have the skills yet to find a kind way of telling people like that that their assumptions are leading them to speak in a way that is extremely hurtful to me... and i'm not secure enough not to be afraid of being judged, even if i did have the words to say it. at least not at work, i'm not... when something besides my job hangs in the balance, i could care less. but i've already lost one job i liked because of a bigoted uber-christian supervisor, and i really don't care to have it happen again.

as a corrollary, i really wish there were a way to explain to livejournal that this, this level of shock and assault, is how gay people feel every single time one of those fucked-up anti-gay NOM ads appears on a journal they're reading. it's not happened to me yet, but just knowing it's there makes me scared. that's not okay. lj used to be my safe space; with that shit out there, it feels like less of one. (for those who might not know what i'm talking about, read here and here. even if i weren't good friends with a trans guy, this would set me frothing at the mouth.)

ok.... time to look at lolcats or something to make myself feel better again.

♥
emily

once again, someecards has sent me into fits of giggling.

for anyone who knows rinlage, this doesn't need an explanation.




*still snickering*

one last little entry for today.

last weekend (not these past two days, but the weekend before that) i went back to mount holyoke for a reunion of my a cappella group. since youtube took down all the vids of the group, i know there's little i can say to convince y'all not to start calling me andy bernard... but trust me when i say this was not lame a cappella. this was balls-out rock-till-you-drop a cappella, just two dozen chicks, a tranny boy and music that rang to the fucking rafters. (....and sometimes there were also dance routines. what, don't judge me.) if you're on facebook, go to my profile and surf through to the M&C's group, or go to http://www.mtholyoke.edu/org/milkandcookies and check it out.

it's something almost impossible to explain unless you were part of it (or, like nickhornby, douxquemiel, rhealitycheck and many others, saw us perform) but it just kept occurring to me over and over and over again throughout the weekend how completely and utterly altered my life would be if i hadn't joined the group. aside from the fact that i literally don't know who or what i would be if i hadn't become friends with usually9_15 when i did... i don't know if i'd have realized i was gay when i did, or come out when i did, or been a part of a relationship that did and still does shape who i am as a person... all the traveling, the people i connected with, who knows how that would be? who knows who *i* would be? i have no idea. if not for this group i might be married to my highschool boyfriend and wondering why i was so miserable. who the fuck knows?

it was the 20th anniversary of the group's founding; that's why we were all there. after we saw the current group perform on saturday night (during which i was reduced to a blubbering mess no less than three times, natch) i was outside smoking with caitlin and ryan and liz, and i had this epiphany, and i blurted out, "this is the most important thing i've done with my life so far." which may sound lame, but honestly, it's so fucking true. now as an alum i look back and still proudly say i was part of something that spans 20 years and now will go on for god knows how many more, and it will always be something i'll be proud to talk about. and the thing this weekend showed me is that i am still part of it, and i always will be.

this is so sappy, but i just had to write about it. especially with the advent of warm weather and everything i'm looking forward to about the summer... when i was on campus i spent part of the time really nostalgic and sad; my life was much simpler when i was at mhc, not only for the obvious reasons but because i was still such an optimist about my life. these past four years (especially the last two, oy) have really drained a lot of my drive and faith in myself, and i didn't even realize it until i was back there. but instead of making me more depressed it made me want to get it back, to get ME back. it was a decision i didn't even realize i was waiting to make until i made it.

so that's where i'm at... finally starting to feel like myself again, like the version of myself that i wanted and still want to be. so thanks, mount holyoke, you did it again. ;)

it's really nice that it's warm enough to need the fan on right now. i know it's silly and kind of wanky to be like OOH SYMBOLOGY, but seriously, this autumn and winter felt so long and were such an emotional desert for me, i almost forgot what it's like for it to be summer. i was actually pretty happy for most of last summer, and the way i'm feeling right now, warm and exhausted after a day of gardening, it's just really a good feeling.

also, i haven't been doing a lot of LJ updating, been on twitter more often-- not that there's much of anything of content on my twitter page, but if you feel like friending, go ahead. :)

♥

still replying to all the awesome things people said for me in tarie's love meme - overwhelming, y'all, seriously. ;;;o__o;;; <333333

i am *drowning* in tags. in a good way, like, right now i am so so so so excited about every single thing i have going on. i have PLOT, for chrissakes, and new prospects surfacing on several counts, and i still have so much to DO this week, but omg, being busy is gooooooooood. also, this isn't often true, but my RP writing and my other writing are actually running parallel to each other in terms of productivity and creativity. i like it.

contrariwise.org is a blog of literary tattoos. surfing this shit is dangerous; i now want to cover my entire body in quotes. not that that's terribly different than my normal state of being, but now i actually have examples of how awesome word tattoos can actually look. :x lheena and linaeloisetook, this one made me think of you guys. aaaaaand i'm pretty much in love with the idea behind this one, and if i ever get my ass in school, i will totally consider something similar, probably not w/HP, but idk. it's awesome to ponder, though. XD

and my placement at this data entry job is ending on friday, about a month and a half sooner than expected. this is upsetting only in that it tweaks my anxiety, wondering if i did anything to make them cut me over one of the other temps, but the others have been there since september so if they were going to cut one it makes sense for them to cut the one who's only been there seven weeks.... but still. >.>;;; after the shit that went down at northwestern and at honda, i'm super paranoid. anyway, it's okay, because i'll be moving to another placement at brown university in about a week and a half / two weeks, one that isn't just dumbass data entry, one that will hopefully let me use my brains a bit. also, in a way cooler part of the city, literally on top of thayer st. which is kind of my favorite place to hang out, so, that's awesome, and it pays almost $2/hour better than this. i just hope they call me back today to confirm that i've gotten it; this agency has offered me stuff this juicy before only to retract it later, so, plz keep fingers crossed that i get a lucky break on this one. :|

also, mom and i played hooky from work yesterday. it was awesome... i really needed it, we did a bunch of stuff, and it was just nice to hang out and kind of have a free pass day.... weekends we always have Things To Do, and it was great to just sort of... idk, even though we were running errands for a lot of the day, it felt v. relaxing. and we went to a pampered chef party at night, which was also awesome, and she's going to be hosting one for her work friends in may. she bought some really cool stuff, i'm quite excited for the mail to come next week, lol.

oof, hunger, and it's only 10:15. guess this is what happens when i get up early enough to exercise and then only eat a piece of toast with peanut butter for b'fast. >.>;;;;;
♥

+ books books books books BOOKS. finished 'seabiscuit' without actually crying, only getting suspiciously hoarse* and stuffy manyseveral times throughout. amazing, amazing book. now onto 'uglies' by scott westerfeld, thanks to halfdreams for the recommendation (and steph, i almost just typed your twitter name as your LJ name, haha, OOPS) and after that 'small wonder' by barbara kingsolver and a reread of 'at swim, two boys', which i am SO looking forward to.

+ this is a strange thing to admit, but perhaps other writerly types will know what i mean. the other day i wrote something, just a couple hundred words for a meme on TR, that was... and i mean it... the best thing i've ever written. it snuck up on me-- i finished it, reread, didn't edit a single thing, posted it and then went ".....omg did i actually write that shit?" ashkitty's reaction to it was exactly what i'd wanted, which was awesome, and hearing stuff from other people helps me know i'm not crazy and/or making it up, lol, but like... i have *never* finished writing something and just known it was right, like, completely right, start to finish. felt fucking awesome. now if only i can do it with characters *i* make up, ahaha.

+ on the other writing note, however, i have been working a lot on stuff. a short story, bits of a novel, and it's actually working. like, right now a lot of what i'm doing is just going over old notes and reworking them, but it's happening, i'm not hitting road blocks, and i can see where i want to go. it's.... terrifying, actually, ahaha, but in an awesome way.

+ the bsg finale. i still haven't figured out what i thought of it. that'll probly get its own cut/filtered post at some point, after i re-watch it... it's strange, i don't feel as sad as i did after the west wing ended, but i've realized i think that's because to me the finale left a lot of room for me to pick and choose what to focus on, a lot of room to interpret. and i like that.

+ this weekend i'm making the dummy dress for my friend meghan's wedding dress. :} it's going to be interesting-- i'm making the dummy, in 2 weeks when she's here she'll try it on and we'll fit it and figure out what she wants changed or altered, and then i get started on the real thing. i'm scared, but also really excited. it's a very simple pattern, but it's going to be f'ing gorgeous when i'm done (if i do say so myself, lol) and heeeeee i'm so excited. two of my best friends are getting married in september (and thank god they didn't schedule it for the same day, ahaha), it's very bittersweet. we're f'srs grownups now. :x

+ i really want to watch a silly movie tonight. like.... night at the museum, or something. >.>;;;; either that or a scary one, but i'd be watching sth scary by myself, so mebbe not.

+ for those who partychat on gtalk.... apparently partychat is run out of some guy's basement? i've heard this like, fourth-hand, but apparently the reason pchat has been fucking itself in the face these past few days is b/c this dude who runs it (manages it? whatever) is having issues w/his server/connection/whatever. total non-sequitur, but whatevs. sketchy news is fun news.

+ i'm still LOLing over things from last weekend. like... MY FAAAAAAAAACE.

* that was not intended to be a pun, but now that i saw it, i feel i have to acknowledge it lest people think i did do it on purpose. wouldn't be the first time. >.>;;;;

there's about five minutes until the finale starts. and there's so much i want to say, but honestly there's no need to wax on at length.

this show has meant so much to me. not only catapulting itself almost instantly to the position of my favorite TV show, but also for the ways it's surprised, impressed, intrigued and touched me. i'm sure any other fan will agree; this show has something special. it's different. i don't think anyone ever expected it to be this good, but for anyone who's doubting whether or not it's worth it to pick up, don't doubt. watch it. you will never, ever regret it.

i'm so, so happy i'm able to watch the finale tonight as it airs. that's only ever happened to me with one other (the west wing) which meant about as much to me as this does, but nerdy as this is, it's a milestone to me. tv will be different after tonight.

sigh. it's about to start. aim chat bsgfinaleflail for anyone who wants to come in and share the madness.

♥

changed layout and default userpic. i haven't seen this layout before, it might be new, but it is *perfect*. the picture reminds me of kurt halsey (who incidentally, i've been meaning to make icons of his art for just ages now, ugh) and it is just love. but the lengthy style-selection process did remind me of the layout i'd planned and begun oh, god, back last summer maybe, and i'm going to get my ass in gear to finish it.

both scifiwire and knitmeapony's twitter feed provide me with zillions of little fun things / stories throughout the day. like these - steampunk cylon gallery, Extreme Sheepherding (yes, they're Welsh, ahaha, marisa's mad), pouring sheets of lead for pipe organs, and gallery games. thanks guys. :D

bsg tonight. i'll make a flaily post later, and there'll be a chat for those as are interested.

finished the 2nd locke lamora book. really can't handle how awesome it was, how totally gripping. it's been a long, long time since a book really sucked me in like that-- the first law trilogy did, but none of the characters in that really stole my heart-- stole my head, sure, but not my heart, not the way locke and jean did. (the fact that they are, essentially, bert and alain, has not escaped my notice either. :P) but yes... these books are a must-read... basically it's like danny and rusty from ocean's 11 set in an 18th-century-italian style semi-steampunk world. iiiincredible.

ok. day almost over. then is weekend of amazingness with lheena, douxquemiel and the other usual suspects. it's gonna be fucking amazing... and hedonisticated just gave me her # so i can drunkenly harass her tomorrow night. XD oh yeah, it's gonna be a good weekend.

1. How do you feel right now?
and/or

2. What's your favourite pastime?
.

3. Do you consider yourself a strange person?
like sarah said, there's just so much evidence....
. .

4. What's your favourite fandom/canon?
.

5. OTP?


6. How do you describe yourself?


7. How do others describe you?


8. Do you have an icon of your future husband/wife current crush?


9. Do you have an LOLWHUT icon?

motherfuckers, i had the weirdest stupidest shittiest dreams last night, not even scary ones just TIRING ones, and woke up feeling like i hadn't slept.

AND I HAD BEEN SO TIRED I WENT TO SLEEP W/O WATCHING BSG. STILL.

tonight i better sleep fucking awesomely with no dreams, cus i swear, my subconscious is gonna get a fucking beatdown otherwise.

also woke up to like 298729384 texts from my ex about why i hadn't read/replied to the email she sent me on saturday. spent first two hours of morning @ work trying to construct careful, kindly worded reply to the effect of 'please stop being a possessive freak kthx'... then remembered she doesn't have any of my stuff anymore, and therefore there is no need to beat around the bush, so just scrapped it and basically wrote her ten lines that was like 'you're being crazy, fucking lay off me, you nutter'. was really liberating.
eta : 7pm and she just called me. for serious, what the fuck is this? what part of "broken up" do you not get? UGH.

going after work to get the sequel to 'lies of locke lamora'. fucking insane how much i loved that book-- and technosage reminding me how awesome locke and/or jean would be on tr didn't help. :E :E :E *noms her face*

kay... 20 min til end of day. i can do this. -.-

( possible tmi )

last night was fucking awesome. those of you that were reading twitter already know this, lol. i hung out with my best friend from high school, the one who has the same birthday as me, and holy crap it was awesome. we went to a restaurant and got nachos and drinks, and then back to her place and had beers (and coffee-flavored patron, omg, soooo tasty) and hung out w/her friend who lives in the apt above hers. it was extremely awesome, i'm so excited to have a friend here again, and the possibility of hanging out w/them again really soon. i'm so jazzed. :D :D and omg we laughed about so many old jokes and reminded each other of the crazy shit we did in high school... it was so much fun. i might go out w/them tonight, but might not, idk. depends on how i feel later-- right now i kinda feel like if i drink again tonight i'll want to die tomorrow, lol. so we'll see.

only downside was that in my drunken idiocy i tripped going out of her apt to smoke at one point, and when i woke up discovered that i'd skinned the front of my ankle on the way down-- like, the curve where your leg becomes the top of your foot, that is all skinned and bloody. felt awesome ripping my sock off this morning, lemme tell you. >.>;;;;

my whole life i've never been a cd-buying person; it's always been too hard to conscience spending $15 on a cd i don't know if i'll even like, so i get most of my music taste from the radio or from other people. but there are albums i've either been given as a gift or bought on a whim or known from the second i heard one of the songs that i had to own, that have ended up rocking my world. here are the top 26 (cus of course i couldn't pare down, lol). and holy fuck, did this take me a long time!

( stolen from sunny... )

listening to clips of protesters at the prop 8 hearings on npr this morning brought me to tears. it's just so hard... the prospect that this is what could set a precedent for the entire country, instead of MA's example being replicated.... and even worse, hearing a woman talk about how she was standing and protesting on the spot where she and her wife were married last year, and how their marriage could be overturned/invalidated if this is upheld.... also, i kind of hope someone kills kenneth starr in his sleep. way to sound like the hugest most pompous uppity conservative cunt in the world. he sounded like he was doing a shitty cool hand luke impression, for chrissakes. "what we have heaaah... is a failyaah... to unnerstand that homos.. don't.. desuuurve equal rights.." alskdfjkdj. DIAF.

on the other hand, the dude screaming out "YOU CAN'T IGNORE A RIGHTEOUS QUEEN" at the conservative protesters made me laugh my ass off. :}

mkay.... back to work.

if i were to fork over a few 100x100 .gifs, are there any of you out there with the technologies to turn them into an animated icon for me? >:D